


Four Times Bucky and Steve Almost Kissed and the One Time They Did

by ICantWriteForShit



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Denial, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn, Stucky - Freeform, Unresolved Tension, but they end up happy I swear!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 05:30:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13093401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICantWriteForShit/pseuds/ICantWriteForShit
Summary: Steve and Bucky start out as two normal friends from Brooklyn but over the years they get turned into Captain America and the Winter Soldier. Everything changes, Steve goes from a bullied little Brooklyn kid to a superhero and national treasure while Bucky is made into a ruthless killing machine. But their unspoken desires never change and that remains the only consistancy in their ever changing lives.This is 4 times Bucky and Steve almost kissed and one time they finally did.





	1. The Night Of 1943

“I still can't believe you're leaving,” Steve said, taking a careful sip of whiskey from his brown coffee cup.

 

Steve had no idea how Bucky managed to get alcohol, especially when neither had money for food, but he was too afraid to ask. Had Steve asked,  Bucky would have laughed and said, “Don't worry about how I got it Stevie, just be glad I did.” 

 

Steve didn't want to be a bummer on their last night together so, he accepted the drink with an unsure smile and slightly shaking hands.

 

“You're acting like I'll never come back,” Bucky laughed, but Steve could sense a melancholy behind his smile.

 

They were sitting on the couch in Steve's apartment, both men shooting uncomfortable glances at one another. They seemed to both be  aware that the night was coming to an end at the same pace as their time together. Earlier in the day, Bucky revealed he enlisted in the United States Army. Bucky was leaving for England to fight for his country, while Steve was staying in Brooklyn. Bucky was going to become a brave and idealistic soldier, while Steve would remain… well, Steve.

 

“I'm sorry Buck, I just wish I could go with you,” Steve said, taking another sip of the bitter drink.

 

“Oh, don’t worry,” Bucky said, putting his hand on Steve's shoulder. “When I'm gone, you'll become the last eligible bachelor in New York City!”

 

Steve gave Bucky a small smile while he tried to ignore how good it felt being touched by Bucky. His hand felt so warm and soothing and Steve couldn't help but wonder if his feelings towards the other man was exceeding the line of friendship… 

 

“Yeah, ‘cause I had such good luck with the  dames tonight,” Steve muttered, referring to the two ladies Bucky attempted to introduce to Steve earlier in the night. 

 

“Well, you would have if your stupid ass didn't run away as soon as I mentioned dancing.” Bucky retorted.

 

To that, the blond groaned and put his face in his hands.

 

“Oh, come on Steve!” Bucky insisted and leaned over close enough for Steve to smell the alcohol on his breath.

 

“ _ Come on _ what,” Steve mumbled through his hands. 

 

“Come on, let's dance,” Bucky whispered with a smug smile.

 

Steve looked up and slowly brought his hands down from his face. Bucky looked confident as usual, but Steve wasn't sure whether he was kidding or not.

 

“You and me?” He asked with a weak voice.

 

“You see anyone else here?” Bucky answered, and gestured to the empty living room.

 

Before Steve could protest, Bucky took his hand from his shoulder and stood up. He brought the whiskey bottle to his lips and chugged the last drop. Then, he stumbled toward the radio in the corner of the room and turned it on. The voice of Helen Foster blared in the tiny apartment, and Bucky looked over at Steve with a knowing smile. 

 

“I can't leave knowing my best friend doesn't even know how to dance,” he said, and took a step toward Steve holding out his hand. 

 

“I know how to dance I just-” Steve started. 

 

“Prove it then,” he dared. 

 

Steve didn't know what to say, so he took Bucky's hand and was led to the middle of the room. 

 

_ It seems to me I've heard that song before _

_ It's from an old familiar score _

_ I know it well, that melody _

 

Bucky gently put his hand on his side, but Steve immediately protested.

 

“You get to be the man?” he questioned, raising his eyebrow at Bucky.

 

“Well, I just assumed….” Bucky trailed off. Upon seeing Steve’s expression, he sighed,“Fine, I'll be the girl if that makes you happy.” Bucky put a hand on Steve's shoulder.

 

_ It's funny how a theme recalls a favorite dream _

_ A dream that brought you so close to me _

 

They started dancing and Steve could feel his heart  beating faster with each step. A part of him wanted nothing more than to run away and eliminate the possibility of embarrassment, but a bigger part of him never wanted the dance to end. Feeling Bucky so close made him dizzy, and he accidentally stepped on his toes several times. But Bucky didn't seem to care, he kept dancing while quietly singing along to the song.

 

_ I know each word because I've heard that song before _

_ The lyrics said "Forever more" _

_ Forever more's a memory _

 

Steve made Bucky do a little spin, and they laughed at the ridiculousness of Bucky dancing like a lady. Bucky attempted to make another spin, but accidentally hit his knee on the coffee table. With a loud groan, he fell to the floor. Steve, who was holding Bucky's hand inevitably followed shortly, landing on the floor with a small thud.

 

They were now on the cold apartment floor, Steve's legs were tangled up with Bucky's legs. The blond was blushing furiously at this point and he silently cursed himself for not drinking more earlier. He slowly opened his eyes to look at Bucky. Surprisingly, the other man was returning his gaze intensely.

 

Suddenly, it was as if all air in Brooklyn disappeared. Steve felt his entire body pulsating, and he could see Bucky moving his head slightly closer to Steve’s face. 

 

_ Please have them play it again _

_ And I'll remember just when _

_ I heard that lovely song before _

 

They were so close now, but when the song ended it was as if Bucky was taken out of the trance. He coughed uncomfortably, and Steve immediately moved away. He stood up and hurried over to the radio, turning it off.

 

“I didn't mean to-” He started.

 

“No, it’s not, it’s nothing,” Bucky replied, looking down while he stood up.

 

“I wasn't-” Steve tried to explain.

 

“I know.” Bucky stated.

 

“I’m not a-” Steve started again.

 

“I know.” Bucky interrupted, but Steve could feel the words he didn’t say hanging in the air. 

 

_ I wasn't trying to kiss you. _

 

_ I’m not a queer. _

 

Bucky left the apartment after, he said he needed to be rested for his departure in the morning,  but Steve had a feeling it was all his fault. As he laid supine in his cold bed that night, he wondered if he would get the chance to fix everything. He wanted to explain everything but lacked the right words. He knew he had embarrassed Bucky and possibly broken some unspoken rule but he didn't exactly know  _ why _ . He couldn't explain it to himself, so how the hell would he explain it to Bucky? A numbing fear washed over him while speculating about what it all could mean and Steve desperately tried to stop thinking about it. 

 

Maybe someday it would all be different.

 

_ Maybe. _


	2. The eyes of a soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place when Bucky and Steve are working together in the millitary during the 40s.

The next time Steve and Bucky met, Steve was no longer the skinny Brooklyn kid one wouldn't pay a second glance. He was Captain America, the super soldier who punched Nazis and got any girl he wanted.

 

Bucky still couldn't fathom the transformation. When Steve saved him from the Hydra base, he couldn't believe that the blue eyed soldier was anything but an angel. A strangely buff angel, but an angel nonetheless. It had taken months for Bucky to get used to not being the tall and handsome friend anymore but to the surprisingly he didn't mind. Sure, he pretended to get irritated when Steve got more looks than him but it was all for show. In all honesty Bucky couldn't blame the girls for admiring his friend as he too sometimes caught himself looking for too long. 

  
  


“Fellas, whaddya say we celebrate this with a couple of beers, huh?”  A soldier spoke and the other men cheered in agreement. 

 

It had been two months since Steve saved Bucky, and now they were now a part of  the  _ Howling Commandos _ , a team of rescued soldiers assembled by Captain America. The men had just taken down a Belgian Hydra facility and were in high spirits. 

 

“Sounds like a plan, I'll go get Bu- Barnes, I think he's in his tent,” Steve said, hoping to get away from the group for a while.

 

It wasn't he disliked them, quite the opposite, but he could never really be himself around the soldiers. They seemed to expect him to be a manifestation of the American ideal... They wanted him to be Captain America, not Steve Rogers.

 

“Sure thing Cap, just don't take too long,” another soldier said, and gave him a hard pat on the back. 

 

Steve gave them a reassuring smile in return and promised to get back to celebrate as soon as he talked to Bucky. He let out a sigh of relief as he parted ways with the group, and headed towards Bucky's tent. It was hard to navigate among the identical passages and the vertically organized  brown tents. Eventually, Steve found Bucky's tent; he carefully stepped in, greeting the other man with a simple, “It’s me.” However, once inside, he saw something that made his heart stop.

 

Bucky was sitting on the edge on his bed with one hand covering his face and the other holding on to the blanket. His face was wet with tears, and his nose was red and puffy. When he saw Steve, he immediately turned his face away.Yet, Steve had seen all he needed to know something wasn't right.

 

“Buck?” He asked and carefully took a few steps closer to the bed.

 

“Mmm,” Bucky mumbled distantly, “I was just gonna change.”

 

“Okay…. Can I sit?” Steve asked, and when he didn't get an answer he sat down beside Bucky. He sat close enough so Bucky would know he had his support, but far enough to give him space.

 

“What’s wrong,” he urged. 

 

Bucky turned around to face him. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration and took a deep breath.

 

“Everything is wrong Steve,” he eventually said, and let his hands fall to the mattress, defeated.

 

“ _ I’m _ wrong, this  _ war _ is wrong,  _ everything _ just feels so goddamn… wrong,” he continued, and looked at Steve with tears streaming down his face.

 

“Come on Buck, we just completed an important mission, you should be happy,” Steve said, putting a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder.

 

“We have nothing to be happy for, Steve,” the brunette bursted out and stood up, ignoring Steve's hand. “We’re just tools for them, freaking killing machines Steve, that's all we are.”

 

“We’re killing for them, we’re  _ dying  _ for them, and I don't even know what it's all for anymore.” he rambled on. “I mean, a bunch of people just died and you want to celebrate? ”

 

Steve had been quietly looking at Bucky throughout his speech, but now stood up to face him. It was with a look of sadness on his face Steve said,“It’s okay Bucky, I'm scared too.” 

 

Bucky's angry expression softened, and his fist’s slowly unclenched.

 

“I don't want to lose you,”  he uttered, looking down. 

 

Steve took another step forward and carefully embraced Bucky in a deep hug. Bucky wasn't moving at first, but after awhile he relaxed and wrapped his arms around Steve. He sighed at how good it felt, and how much he missed having someone to comfort him. The warmth in his chest reminded him of the time he had fallen from his bike and his mother kissed the pain away. 

 

“I'm sorry,” he whispered into Steve’s neck, but Steve shook his head, as Bucky had nothing to be sorry about.

 

They pulled apart but remained mere inches away from one another. Steve smiled at his friend and carefully wiped away the tears on Bucky's cheeks using his thumbs. Bucky let out an embarrassed laugh and closed his eyes. Steve’s hands settled on the Bucky’s jaw. Bucky's skin was warm and soft under his fingers and, without thinking, he leaned forward and gave him a small peck on the cheek. 

 

It felt natural; yet, when Steve looked into Bucky's eyes, his gaze was met with Bucky’s shocked expression.

 

“Are you guys in there? We have a beer with your name on it Cap,” someone from the outside hollered, sounding tipsy. 

 

The two men instantly pulled away from one another, and Bucky anxiously tried to dry his face with the fabric of his shirt. Steve tried to sound as confident as possible answering the men outside.

 

“Were coming,” he said “You fellas better not already be drunk” 

 

That night, they drank to blur dream with reality. Steve ended up in a corner, wishing the alcohol would have a greater effect on him; Bucky was shifting between singing loudly with the others, to throwing up outside. They both hoped to forget: Bucky's face in Steve's hands, Steve’s lips on Bucky's cheek. They were scared of how safe it felt, how good it felt, and what it could mean….

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this wasnt too sad, I promise ill make it up to you guys soon! :)  
> If you liked it please leave a comment, they make me super happy and motivated to write more!!


	3. When The Sun Falls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh, this is a long one. Hope you enjoy! :)
> 
> (Takes place after the events of Captain America: Winter Soldier)

Bucky died later that year, but Steve never stopped thinking about all the things that could have been. Not when he continued to fight in the war, not when he fell in love with Peggy Carter and not even when he died only to wake up 50 years later. Steve had been beaten, bruised and thrown into a world he knew nothing about but he never stopped thinking about Bucky. 

 

When Steve had one of his sleepless nights he couldn't help but think about all the memories they had together. He remembered them meeting for the first time on the school yard. Some bullies had tried to steal Steve's lunch money but Steve had of course refused to give it up without a fight. He had stood there with a bruised lip, surrounded by kids a head taller than him. He remember his knees feeling weak and his words coming out with a stutter but even back then he knew to never give up when facing an enemy. 

 

That's when Bucky had showed up, completely turning the situation around. Steve couldn't remember if Bucky had threatened the other boys or if he simply had used his charm to convince them to leave Steve alone but what he did know was that everything had changed after that day. Bucky had become Steves best friend and they had remained inseparable until the day Bucky Barnes had died. Or the day everyone  _ thought  _ he had died.

 

Steve cursed as an image of the Winter Soldier flashed through his mind. He turned over to the other side of the bed and stared up at the roof. It was raining and the lights from the buildings outside got merged together on the surface of the window. 

 

_ Bucky was alive _

 

Steve let out a frustrated sigh and tried forcing his eyes shut, but instead of darkness all he could see was a pair of piercing crystal blue eyes. 

 

Some nights were better than others and tonight Steve just couldn't seem to fall asleep. It had almost been three months since he had woken up on the muddy ground after the defeat of Hydra. He had been wet and beaten up but he had been alive. 

 

Sam and Natasha would later give each other worried looks when Steve explained what or rather  _ who  _ had saved him. Neither of them ever spoke against his theories but they would occasionally point out that “The Bucky you knew might not be there anymore” or “You dont know if he's dangerous or not”. Deep down Steve feared that they were right but he also knew that he could never let this go. 

 

Steve was so alone in this strange world and felt himself craving anything that reminded him of home, this included Bucky. It wouldn't have mattered if it was 1940 or 2040, home would always be were Bucky was, and if Steve had even the slightest chance of getting him back he would take it. 

 

_ Bucky was alive  _

 

Steve just knew he was, he had to be. When Steve first witnessed the Winter Soldier the only thing he had seen was a emotionless killing machine, but after the mask had worn off Steve had finally seen Bucky. And suddenly the other man was no longer the bully, the  _ enemy.  _ He was a friend. 

 

Steve breathed in slowly and finally let his mind wander. He turned around one last time before feeling himself slip out in a state between dream and reality. 

 

He dreamt of the old times. The times when they would sit and watch people passing on the streets while sharing a box of chocolate cigarettes. The times they would help Steve's mom with the cooking or laundry and she would give them kisses on the forehead. The times they would fight just to  make up mere seconds later. The times they would look at one another a little bit too long and pretend it didn't mean anything.  All the times that Steve had missed. 

 

Suddenly a cold wind roamed through the apartment and Steve woke up with a intense jerk. It took some time for his eyes to adjust to the darkness but he quickly noticed the reason for his sudden awakening. The window had blew open during the night, and with a groan Steve sat up. He walked up to the window and promptly closed it. As he turned around to go back to bed he felt something cold and wet under his naked feet. A shiver went through his body as he realized that the rain puddle he had stepped in was in the shape of a footprint. 

 

_ “ _ Hello?” He asked as his eyes scoured the room in search for the possible invader. 

 

He heard a small creak coming from his left and instinctively turned his head around. On the other side of the room stood a dark silhouette looking at him in silence. Steve felt all of the air go out of his lungs and without even thinking about it, his hostile demeanor had vanished.

 

“It's you, isn't it…” Steve uttered into the darkness. 

 

The other person choose not to answer, so Steve took a careful step forwards hoping to get a better look at the shadow.

 

“Bucky?” Steve whispered and he thought he could hear the other man slightly gasp. 

 

There was a long silence where neither of the men moved a muscle or uttered a word. It was still raining outside but not as heavy as before. The sound of small drops hitting the glass window seemed to consume the pressing silence between them.

 

“Hi Steve,” Bucky spoke with a barely audible voice and the blond felt his entire heart fall apart. 

 

Without hesitation Steve practically launched forward and embraced his friend in a tight hug. It had been almost 70 years since they last embraced like this, but Bucky still smelled of his fathers cologne and old wood like he always did. He felt cold in Steve's arms when he should feel warmth, but his clothes and dark brown hair were damp from the rain outside.

 

“Did you fucking climb through the window?” Steve whispered genuinely curious.

 

Bucky smiled slightly and smugly replied, “Captain America swearing… things really have changed.” 

 

Steve let out a relieved laugh and Bucky relaxed into the hug as the feeling of familiarity washed over him.

 

“After all these years I think you can let me off the hook once,” Steve joked.

 

He slowly let go of Bucky to study his face. With a look of concern he asked,

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Bucky had a blank expression on his face. He was avoiding Steves blue eyes by looking directly at the floor underneath his feet.

 

“Im… I can't talk about it yet,” He stated with a broken voice, still avoiding the other man's look. 

 

“Bucky, you know I dont blame you for any-” Steve tried to explain but Bucky shook his head taking a step back. 

 

“No Steve,” He mumbled, eyes closed as if to somehow gain control of his thoughts, “I can't do this right now, not with you.”

 

Steve swallowed but nodded. He understood, it was a all a little bit much for him too. Previously to that night Steve hadn't even been sure if he would ever see Bucky again. He hadn't even known if his best friend was still there or just a mere body taken over by a killing machine. 

 

“I should go,” Bucky said after some silence had passed.

 

“No!” Steve exclaimed, instinctually reaching out to grab his arm, “I mean… You could stay for the night.”

 

Bucky looked down at Steve's hand and then up at Steve again. The blond had no idea what Bucky was thinking but he was determined to not let him leave again. 

 

“Please just stay,” He pleaded.

 

Bucky was motionless but after awhile he  looked up at Steve and nodded slightly.

 

A couple of minutes later they were laying in Steve's bed talking quietly about old memories.

 

Steve was trying his hardest to make Bucky smile or at least for a second, distract him from the reality they were living. They were both lying on their backs, looking up at the dark roof as they were speaking to one another. 

 

“And remember the croissants from Holly's bakery, they were my favorite part of the week,” Steve told Bucky and he closed his eyes trying to remember the taste of the sweet bread in his mouth.

 

Their arms were laying on top of the blanket and they occasionally brushed against one another shooting bolts of electricity through Steves entire body.

 

“It was the best bakery in town,” Bucky recalled with a soft voice, ”I think they closed down after the rationing started though,” 

 

Steve hummed in response but something else seemed to be on his mind.

 

“Bucky, can you be honest with me,” He said, slightly biting his lip, “Why did you come here?”

 

“I…” Bucky began, somewhat thrown off by the question, “I missed you.” He confessed. 

 

“Everything I ever knew has kind of been turned upside down” He continued, “But then there's you, my super soldier, world saving bestfriend, and somehow you're the only part of my life that makes sense anymore.”

 

Steve turned his head and looked at Bucky with a soft smile. The other man's face was barely lit up enough for Steve to see his expressions but he could sense the confusion and loneliness in Buckys voice.

 

“Look at me,” He whispered and Bucky shifted a little so that he now was laying on his side, looking directly into his friends bright blue eyes. 

 

“No matter what happens,” Steve began, “No matter what you did or didn't do, you'll always be the most important person in my life.”

 

Bucky inhaled slowly and then asked,

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

The silence that the two never seemed to escape from had appeared in the room once again as the two were silently looking at each other. Bucky slowly lifted his hand up to cup Steves face and bring it closer to his own. A familiar warmth grew in Steve's chest and he wanted to do nothing more than to make up for the time they've lost. He wanted to grab Bucky's soft hair and smash their lips together. He wanted to leave small traces across his neck and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. He wanted to do it all at once but he also knew this wasn't the time. 

Bucky closed his eyes and started leaning in but Steve remained still. 

 

“I can't,” He whispered.

 

Bucky's eyes shot open and the room was almost quiet enough for Steve to hear Bucky's heart break. Without a word he turned around facing the wall instead of Steve. They were quiet after that, but Steve remembered hearing him mumble “goodnight” before inevitably slipping into sleep. 

 

The next morning Bucky was gone and it felt like he had taken a bit of home with him, leaving Steve more hollow than ever before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay this time I really swear that the next chapter is gonna be less sad... I mean it will still be angsty but ill make sure to make my boy Bucky happy, ITS WHAT HE DESERVES DAMNIT!
> 
> Anyways, if you liked it please leave a comment, they make my day!


	4. A Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're both stupid idiots who should just kiss already.

 

Almost six months went by before Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes met again. Steve had already spent an eternity without his friend yet it had felt harder than ever before. It wasn't like the time Steve thought Bucky was dead, because even if he felt deafening sorrow there was also a glimpse of hope, a hope that Bucky would show up again. It wouldn't have mattered if he came through the door or the window, Steve just needed to see him again. And one day in late february he did just that. 

 

Steve had just been on his way back to Stark Tower when he swore he could have heard a soft voice saying his name. When he turned around he had looked straight into a pair of cool blue eyes. Bucky had been wearing a black, worn out hoodie and on his shoulders he was carrying a small backpack. He had said nothing, yet Steve understood exactly what he needed. He didn't want to be alone anymore.

 

The first weeks in Stark Tower had been the worst. At first Bucky had been refusing to speak with anyone but Steve. The rest of the Avengers were all but excited about their new roommate, but respected his boundaries and waited for the super soldier to get acclimated to his new home. 

 

Tony seemed outright disgusted with Bucky, unable to separate him from the Winter Soldier, while Sam tensed up as if getting ready for a fight every time Bucky entered the room. Natasha on the other hand seemed more natural and relaxed around Bucky and Steve even heard them talking russian to each other one morning. 

It was hard in the beginning but after receiving daily counseling, Bucky actually seemed to get better. The dark circles under his eyes faded more everyday and his smiles seemed more sincere. 

 

“Has anyone seen Bucky around?” Steve asked as he entered the kitchen.

 

Steve and Bucky had developed a habit of spending their friday nights together watching movies and eating popcorn. Tonight they were watching “Titanic” per request of Sam who insisted that “Kate Winslet is a gift to humankind”. 

 

“I think I saw him around lunch time,” Sam said looking up from his phone. He was sitting in a relaxed position by the table, drinking some green smoothie while responding to emails.

 

“We were supposed to have movie night,” Steve complained as he sat down in the chair beside Sam.

 

“Oh thats right,” Sam remembered and put his phone on the table, “You guys were gonna watch  _ Titanic _ .”

 

Sam wiggled his eyebrows suggestively but Steve couldn't see the humor in his statement so he just  nodded. 

 

“Well,” Sam said clearing his throat, “I’m sure he’ll show up buddy”

 

“Who will show up?” A voice behind them asked and Steve and Sam almost fell out of their chairs.

 

“Come on Nat,  _ we talked about this! _ ” Sam exclaimed when he and Steve had recovered from their momentary heart attacks.

 

“Who will show up?” Natasha insisted as she reached out to sip slightly from Sams green drink. 

 

“Bucky,” Sam said casually, ignoring the fact that Natasha was shamelessly stealing his smoothie.

 

“You seen him?” Steve wondered.

 

“Oh, he didn't tell you?” She asked with a furrowed brow and put the smoothie back on the table.

 

“We talked a bit before he left,” She continued, looking over at Steve, “He was getting ready for a date.”   
  


Steve felt the air going out of his lungs as if he had being punched in the stomach. When he didn't answer Natasha continued to explain, her voice much softer now,

 

“He didn't  _ directly _ say he was going on a date but he was wearing cologne and his hair was -”

 

“That's fine.” Steve interrupted, feeling like every word she uttered was serving a hit towards his face. 

 

“I'm sorry, I really thought you knew,” She said, looking uncharacteristically worried.

 

There was a couple uncomfortable seconds of silence were Steve was still processing the information while Sam and Natasha were looking at one another in confusion. 

 

“We could still watch the movie, you know I never say no to Titanic,” Sam tried but Steve shaked his head, giving him a smile that didn't fully reach his eyes.

 

“Thank you for the offer, but I think i'll just watch it another day,” He said, standing up and walking out of the kitchen with brief steps, “I'm going to the gym,”

 

“In the middle of the night?” Sam screamed after him but he never got a response, making him and Natasha even more confused.

  
  
  
  


_ Why didn't Bucky tell me? _

 

Punch.

 

_ Why wasn't I enough? _

 

Punch.

 

_ Why do I care so much? _

 

Punch.

 

Steve was standing alone by the punching bag, searwing blow after blow as his thoughts became more and more rapid. Sweat was running down his face but he couldn't force himself to stop yet. 

 

_ How long has he been planning this? How long has he been in love with someone else? _

 

He let out a frustrated groan as he hit the bag once again with more force this time. 

 

“Woah, what did that poor punching bag ever do to you?” Someone behind him said, slightly startling him. 

 

He turned around to find Bucky standing there, hair neatly combed, dressed in a black, sleek shirt that was tucked into his pants. He had definitely dressed up and it made Steve even more upset knowing it wasn't for him.

 

“What are you doing here, weren't you on a date,” Steve muttered and turned around to methodically start punching the bag again. 

 

“I was,” He admitted, “But I came back.”

 

“Okay.” Steve said flatly, ignoring the confused look of his friend.

 

Bucky was quiet for a while and then harshly asked, 

 

“Are you mad at me Steve?”

 

Steve sharply breathed out as he turned around again.  _ Here we go I guess. _

 

“I'm not  _ mad _ ,” Steve spoke, trying to sound collected, “I just think its irresponsible.”

 

Bucky's brows furrowed and with a tilted head he asked,

 

“Irresponsible how exactly?”

 

Steve crossed his arms and looked Bucky directly in the eyes.

 

“Your meeting someone you don't know a goddamn thing about,” Steve said through his teeth, “You don't know if this person has some type of hidden age-”

 

“No Steve,  _ you're _ the one who doesn't know,” Bucky interrupted, getting increasingly frustrated, “Do you really think I can’t protect myself?” 

 

“That's not what its about Bucky” Steve said, uncrossing his arms, instead using them to empathise his words further.

 

“Well what  _ is _ it about then? Because I’m starting to think that you just don't want me to be happy.” Bucky said coldly.

 

Steve was slightly taken back by Bucky's harsh words but quickly collected himself again.

 

“Don't be a knucklehead, ofcourse I want you to be happy,” He said firmly, taking a step forward, “I just don't understand why you didn't tell me.”

 

“Well frankly it's none of your business who I date,” Bucky said taking a step forward as well, keeping steady eye contact with Steve the entire time, “Were just  _ friends  _ anyway, right?”

 

Steve clenched his jaw and looked down at the floor, unable to answer.

 

“That's what I thought,” Bucky muttered, turning away from Steve.

 

The brunette was just about to leave when he felt a warm hand grasping his shoulder, urging him to stay.

 

“Bucky… I” Steve tried, but the rest of the words seemed to be swallowed by the empty space in the gym. 

 

“You  _ what,”  _ Bucky uttered.

 

Instead of answering Steve carefully lifted his hands up to cup Bucky's face. Bucky shivered at the touch but his expression only softened slightly. The electricity between them were mind numbing and they both seemed to inevitably gravitate towards one another. Bucky could feel the heat radiating from Steve's face and felt himself getting dizzy. Their lips were so close now but Buky turned away in the last minute. Leaving them both feeling unfulfilled. 

 

“You can’t even say it,” Bucky whispered, his face finally breaking down into a look of defeat.  

 

Steve looked up, suddenly taken out of the trance. He opened his mouth as if to say something but not a sound came out. Bucky lightly pushed away his arms and gave him a weak smile while turning around to leave the room.

Steve stood frozen as the sounds of Bucky's steps became fainter and fainter. He was alone again, forced to finally confront what he had been pushing away for so long.

 

_ “I need to fix this”   _ Was the last thing Steve thought before collecting his workout equipment and heading back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I wrote this, but goddamnit can't they just stop fighting and be happy instead??  
> Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed this!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first chapter and first story ever published online, yay! I hope everyone liked it and if you didnt please leave some constructive feedback in the comments :)


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